poem i wrote in the bathroom stall at a concert

(being wasted in your 30s feels so glamorous when you have fake nails)

mia says the venue looks like 80s prom
i am reminded that i was once eighteen
and dumber than normal
my boyfriend touches my ass during a slow song 
i want to know his past as if it was my own

everyone here is so proud they live in brooklyn
when the lead singer says brooklyn
the crowd goes crazy 
do people know you can be an asshole 
in wisconsin too? 

life is good despite my best efforts
to find reasons it's not
and say them out loud after sex
our love feels like a nose dive towards literal hell 
(a situation i cannot control)

i drink another cocktail i didn't buy for once 
the bar drenches us in neon light
the band picks the worst lana song to cover
can you believe i think these thoughts are worth sharing?
maybe my dad did love me.